These are the random ramblings of a cartilaginous being who was dropped here from space for the sole purpose of reporting back to her home planet who has conveniently changed their number.


We Met Online

He picked me up at my door…

… And we went for a walk

I prepared a picnic…

… Which I think he liked

Things were going well

and we were having a really nice time…

Then he decided to get a little fresh…

… That was the end of the date.

All credit goes to Christine McConnell. Check her out!

Sometimes I lie to people who I think need a little boost. I tell them I had a dream about them and then I spin a fantastical story where they overcome the villain and save the puppies of my dreams…



birth control pills: 

  • can treat cysts, endometriosis, pcos, and other potentially life-threatening conditions
  • can lessen severe symptoms of menstruation
  • can treat hormonal imbalances that result in severe acne and other side effects
  • can prevent pregnancy from ever occurring

erectile dysfunction drugs:

  • give you an erection

Not to knock it but ed pills, originly, were tested for heart problems and are still proscribed as such on occasion when more common pills are exhausted. Sorry to rain on your parade. U.U


"You’re not supposed to eat Americone Dream after sex. You’re supposed to eat it during sex. That’s what the waffle cone pieces are for, they’re ribbed for your pleasure.” -Stephen Colbert

Yes. Yes. Yes.


I find it funny how us Americans don’t even get mad at being insulted anymore. We literally just correct the insults with facts to make them even worse and sit there like


My sister ladies and gentleman; a Grammar Nazi to the end. She will listen to your crappy thoughts and verbally bitch slap you into submission with your own idiotic words.